


Beautiful

by Aria_Lerendeair



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Inadequancy, M/M, Sam Feels, Underserving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 08:10:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1597778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Lerendeair/pseuds/Aria_Lerendeair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by fanart by the wonderful, amazing Rivertem.  Link in the notes.  Even though Metatron was dead now, his words would not stop ringing in Sam's ears, no matter what he did.  He was right.  He was right about everything.  Gabriel convinces Sam otherwise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rivertem](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Rivertem).
  * Inspired by [Beautiful](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/49448) by Rivertem. 



> So, this fic was inspired by art by Rivertem. Checkout the art (IT'S SO GOOD CHECK IT OUT SRS) and her blog here: http://rivertem.tumblr.com/post/80885383604/wip-if-someone-could-just-teach-me-how-to-draw
> 
> It ended up as a birthday present for her, but man I love this story and I love, love, love the arguing point Gabriel uses against Sam. You'll see what I mean. Enjoy the fic!!

  
  
  
  
  
Sam stomped into the room and slammed the door shut behind him.  It certainly wouldn’t stop Gabriel from following him into the room, but it was satisfying to shut the door on his face and his protests.  

  
The door slam echoed in the room and Sam sucked in a breath of air, pushing his hands through his hair.  He stalked to the bed and grabbed the first thing he could reach, spinning to throw it against the wall.  

  
The sound of the book hitting the wall wasn’t what he needed.  He needed to destroy the room, tear it apart, tear it to pieces and make sure that it was as trashed as his soul.  After all, he was too dirty for an archangel.  They all knew it. And he’d been stupid enough to fall in love all over again.

  
Sam stalked to the large window and fought the urge to put his fist through the fragile glass.  Dean would have to clean his hand and would ask questions.  

  
"Sam-"

  
"Get out!"  Sam snarled.  When Gabriel didn’t bother to move and stayed right in the center of the room, Sam clenched the windowsill and looked up at Gabriel’s reflection in the window.  "Dammit Gabriel, for once in your life respect my fucking wishes and get out!"  In an instant, the archangel disappeared.  Sam dropped his fist against the window and listened to it rattle as he choked on a sob.  

  
Metatron’s voice echoed in his mind again, the words as fresh as an open wound.   _'Why, you're a regular little frankenstein aren't you?  Pretending so desperately to be human when all you are is a conglomeration of parts and pieces thrown together by someone else.'_

  
Sam clenched his eyes shut.  It didn’t matter.  It didn’t matter.  Metatron was dead.  He wasn’t right.  

_  
'You?  Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood?  The one who started the apocalypse?  You dare to think you may be worthy of an archangel?'_

  
Metatron had laughed then, long and loud.  _’Castiel, I understand.  He’s a Seraph.  He doesn’t know any better.  But Gabriel?  Gabriel was the Messenger.  God spoke directly to him.  He was created, bathed in the light and love of his father.  What could you offer that would dare be called a comparison to that?’_

  
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!"  Sam shouted.

_  
'You think you anything other than a diversion to him?  A monster he can toy and play with before flitting on to the next?'_

  
Sam pushed himself away from the window and stumbled to the bed, hanging his head as that voice kept talking.  He sat down on the edge of the bed, his arms hanging limply.  What was the point?  Metatron was right.

_  
'Do you actually believe those names he calls you?  Beautiful?  Amazing?  You are a patchwork quilt of guilt, a soul that is barely pieced together and a body that is falling apart.  What can you offer him?  Oh!  That's right! **Nothing**.’ _

  
He shook his head.  ”No, no, no.  It isn’t-“ 

  
"Sam."  Gabriel said, his voice soft.  He stepped closer until his shins were touching Sam’s knees.  He carefully tucked Some of Sam’s hair behind his ear.  "Don’t listen to him.  He was wrong."  

  
"No he wasn’t."  Sam whispered, biting down on his lip, his eyes falling shut.  "He was right.  What could I ever offer an archangel?"  

  
Gabriel gave a sad smile.  ”You gave me the only thing that mattered.  The only thing I cared about Sam.  Your choice.  Out of everyone, anyone that you could have had, you chose me.”  He knelt down in front of Sam and reached up to stroke his fingers over Sam’s cheeks.

  
"Gabriel…."  He sighed, his shoulders sagging.  Sam wanted to wrap his arms around Gabriel, haul him close and hold on for as long as the archangel would let him.  But he couldn’t.  He wasn’t good enough.  He could never be good enough.  

  
"Sam, look at me."  Gabriel ordered, frowning when his human kept staring at the ground, his whole posture slumped and defeated.  He cupped Sam’s cheek in his hand.  "You’re beautiful."  

  
Sam closed his eyes and bit down on his lip.  Beautiful?  Him?  

  
Gabriel sighed.  ”You know that why Lucifer was called the Morningstar, don’t you?”  

  
He blinked, opening his eyes to look up at Gabriel.  ”What?”  

  
"You know why we called him Morningstar, right?"  Gabriel asked again, lifting his other hand to comb through Sam’s hair.  "Because the was the brightest, the most beautiful of us all."  He moved closer and stared straight into Sam’s eyes.  "Don’t you think the soul of the Morningstar’s vessel is just as bright?  Just as resplendent?"  

  
Sam gave a harsh laugh and hung his head.  ”Great, one more thing to have in common with the Devil.  Do me a favor and don’t tell Dean.  I don’t need him to hate me any more than he already does.”  

  
"You’re more beautiful than he ever dreamed of being.  You’re better than him too.  Everyone in heaven and hell knows it."  Gabriel whispered.  

  
"Better than the devil.  Like that’s hard."  Sam snorted.  

  
Gabriel growled, his eyes flashing in anger.  ”Samuel Winchester, you listen to me and you listen  _ **now**_.”  Sam’s wide eyes were on his in an instant.  

  
"The light of your soul makes the light of the Morningstar look dull in comparison.  You, a mere human, were able to overcome an archangel and  _control_  him.  Not just any archangel.   **Lucifer**.  The one who was so driven by anger and rage, he should have been unstoppable.  Your love was more powerful than anything else in this world.”  

  
Gabriel shook Sam for a moment, growing desperate for him to understand.  ”You gave that love, that powerful, unstoppable love to  _ **me**_.  I am the unworthy one.  I don’t deserve the heart or the human who bested my brother.”  His grin turned wry.  ”But I’m greedy enough that I want it anyways.”  

  
Sam dropped his head forward to press against Gabriel’s chest and swallowed hard.  ”Please don’t leave.”  He whispered.  

  
Gabriel stopped closer and wrapped his arms around Sam’s shoulders, combing through his hair slowly.  ”You know how marriage vows say ‘til death do us part’?”

  
"Yeah?"  Sam whispered, keeping his eyes closed, wrapping his arms slowly around Gabriel’s waist to pull him closer.  

  
"If you think even death can part us, you’re wrong."  Gabriel whispered against Sam’s hair.  Sam’s laugh sounded an awful lot like a sob and Gabriel held him tighter.  

  
"Besides.  Death and I are old buddies.  He likes me."  

  
This time Sam’s laugh sounded a lot more like a proper laugh.  Gabriel smiled and held Sam closer.    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hate it? Love it? Did I have someone remove their shirt twice? Let me know!
> 
> Comments and Criticisms welcome!
> 
> You can find me here: http://aria-lerendeair.tumblr.com/
> 
> You can also watch me write fics like this (and dozens of others) live! Follow me on Livestream for fics, shenanigans and a general all-around awesome time! http://new.livestream.com/accounts/7212317


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